kate's back porch

New Blog

2008-12-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

I am experimenting with a new blog site. Click here to see.

Santa's Roots

2008-12-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I ordered this book, recommended by the beautiful Lauren Brooks, called Celebrating the Christian Year. Amazing book. I have had so much fun learning about our holiday traditions and where they come from. Do you know where the Santa tradition comes from?

In the year 280, a man named Nicholas was born in Myra, a small village by the Mediterranean Sea. He was born to very wealthy parents, who both died when he was nine years old. Nicholas became a Christian when he went to live with his uncle after his parents' death. When Nicholas became an adult, he had a friend who lost his job as a shipping merchant. His daughters were devastated because it meant he wouldn't have a dowry for them to get married. Nicholas grieved with them over this, and decided to use his own resources to bless them. In the middle of the night, he dropped a bag of gold coins through the open window of the oldest daughters' room. Some fell into a stocking that had been hung out to dry (where we get our "stocking" tradition), and some landed on the floor and in the girls' shoes (where some get the "shoe" tradition). Nicholas became so addicted to giving that from then on he set out to use his resources to bless and serve others. He spent the rest of his life caring for the poor. Nicholas died on December 6, 343 AD. Many began to celebrate that day as St. Nicholas Day, wherein they would practice charitable giving.

And from there, St. Nicholas took on many changes, until he has become our present-day Santa, a "jolly old elf" who has become an instrument of teaching children that if they are good, they will be rewarded and if they are bad, they will be punished. Christmas, for many, has become all about commercialism and getting, with very little giving.

Some other facts:

1. The name Kris Kringle came when Martin Luther decided that instead of celebrating St. Nicholas, we should be celebrating Christ, the ultimate giver, so his name was changed to "Christkindl" which became Kris Kringle.

2. Ever wondered where the chocolate gold coins in a gold mesh bag came from? They represent Nicholas' bag of gold.

3. What about gingerbread? Well, Nicholas used to bake bread and mix in sugar and spices, to give out to all the children.

If you're interested in learning more, get the book!

Sovereign Moments

2008-12-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

I almost died tonight. One of those, that could've been me, I could've been dead kind of nights. I was headed home from my pastor's house. I was on 16th Street, you know the street that goes by all those mansions (in Glen Iris). Anyway, I was on a straightaway, with a sharp left curve coming up. As I'm about to make the curve, a car comes barreling through from the other direction, crosses the yellow line right at the curve, and rams into a telephone pole. The telephone pole comes completely down, falls into the street and is spewing sparks everywhere from the wires. A wire lands next to my car.

If I had driven three seconds faster, he would've pummeled into me. I can't imagine I would've survived. This is one of those moments where you realize how little control you have over the events of your life, when you live and when you die. God is completely sovereign. Tonight, he chose for me to live. And for that, I am grateful.

I was an orphan

2008-11-23T19:22:00.000-08:00

So I've been thinking a lot about the orphan this week. Been thinking and wondering what God says and thinks about orphans. (Lam. 5:3, Hosea 14:3, John 14:18, James 1:27)

I heard a sermon (from one of the leaders of World Vision) on the plight of orphans around the world. The man was saying that God has a heart for the orphan. He said it was because He made every human being and values His creation, His image. And while this is true, I think it goes deeper than this.

I've been learning how all of Scripture points to Christ. From Genesis to Revelation, it's all centered around Christ. I don't think God's words about orphans is any exception. It's all meant to point to Him. In investing in orphans, or even adopting one, we get a tangible picture of a spiritual reality. We are hopeless without Christ. We see that before He delivered us, we had no hope in the world. And the best part...He didn't have to. Just like an adoptive father doesn't have to, HE didn't have to. What a wonderfully humbling reality.

Comment on this post with any insights on this. I'd love to hear from you!

Another Great Song

2008-11-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

Damien Rice, an amazing artist.

Brrr...

2008-11-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from our recent camping trip to Cheaha. We had a great time in spite of the cold. I so enjoyed getting to know folks from my church. Let me just say that the people of Redeemer Community Church are just plain cool. I'll end with a quote from Britney, "My hands are so cold they're hot."

Mr. Ray Lamontagne

2008-11-12T15:11:00.001-08:00

Just thought I'd post a video of one of my favorite artists, Ray Lamontagne. Have a listen...

.:Return to the Jungle.:

2008-11-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

So it's official! The tickets have been bought. The deed is done. I'm headed back to the jungle! I can't wait to see those precious boys again! If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, you can go to The Not Forgotten website, to find out about the boys and the ministry down there. Or if you want to see the video of our trip this past summer, go here.

Election Day

2008-11-04T04:26:00.001-08:00

"Vote as if you were not voting." --John Piper

If you're wondering what the heck that means, read this.

(Hint: It relates to 1 Corinthians 7:29-31)

Happy Election Day!

Fall on the Farm

2008-10-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post a few pics of our fun day yesterday. Oh, how I love the fall. Cool weather. Changing leaves. Ahh.

(Oh, and a message for Elaine--TWO POSTS IN ONE WEEKEND--so there!)

Expression through Art...Huh?

2008-10-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

So I am having a hard time expressing myself through my art. It hardly ever ends up being an expression of who I am or what I believe, the latest pieces being a perfect example of that. I've learned through my church how much the church is not a building, but a body of believers. And what do I end up with on the last TWO canvases? Church buildings. Grrrr.

Augustinian Ponderings

2008-10-18T18:52:00.001-07:00

If you've never read The Confessions of St. Augustine, you should. The reason I am so amazed by Augustine's thoughts and musings is that they are still so applicable today, even though it was written around 400 AD. Here's some quotes that have gotten me thinking.

"It is amazing that I now love You, and not some fantasy version of You. Yet I did not press on to enjoy my God. My soul was carried heavenward to You by Your beauty, yet it was pushed back from You by my own weight. I sank, groaning, into inferior things. This weight was carnal custom. Yet at my lowest, a remembrance of You lived in me. Nor did I doubt at all that there was One to whom I might cling. I was simply not yet prepared to cling to you."

This is very true for me. I want to enjoy God. I want Him to be my delight, yet my own weight pulls me down to inferior things. Augustine, in later chapters, acknowledges that it is only the Lord who can give him even the ability to delight in Him...

"I had caught a whiff of truth, but I was not yet able to feed on it. I continued to look for a way to obtain sufficient strength to enjoy You, but I did not find the power until I embraced Jesus Christ as Mediator between God and humanity...It is He who called to me...Jesus mingled that food that I was unable to receive with human flesh. "

What an amazing testimony to the enjoyment and delight of God, found only in and through Christ. God calls us to find our delight in Him, yet it is Him who gives us the strength, power, and means to do it...Jesus Christ. Wow.

Jungle Boys

2008-10-14T16:19:00.001-07:00

Marcelino is somewhat of a somber, serious kid. Or so it seems. But with a ruffle of his hair, perhaps a whisper in his ear that he's special, and he'll flash the most beautiful smile. It was those little moments with him that endeared him to me. I would take his little arms and hands and pretend to mold and shape them the way God did when he created him. He'd look at me with eyes so deep. Eyes that have probably seen things that our minds can't even conceive. And then he'd flash that smile. Man, what a kid. I don't know what he's seen or heard in his little life, but I know that God is healing and restoring him piece by piece. I know because my God is faithful.

And then there's Beken, who in the same scenario mentioned above, would remind me of the parts I'd left out. As I'd describe how God had molded his arms, his legs, and hands and fingers, he'd look at me questioningly, and say, "And my eyes, too?" He's a kid who, just when you think he's not paying any attention to you, suddenly snuggles up at your side during a meal, or you find him fighting with another to get to sit next to you. Melt your heart kind of kid.

And there are 39 more just like them, all of whom I can't wait to see again. To whisper truth in their ear. There were times during my stay there when I thought, I was made to do this. I was made to whisper God's Word in their little ears, ears that perhaps haven't heard it spoken to them before arriving at Puerto Alegria. What a privilege. Maybe I'll work full-time at an orphanage one day. Or maybe God's placed a special burden in my heart so that I can pray and give. I don't know. I just know that, somehow, in the midst of the mosquitoes, snakes, tarantulas and unbearable humidity, I feel at home.

PS--We're working on a Christmas trip. Yeah!

11:30 pm

2008-10-10T21:28:00.001-07:00

So I just talked to a sweet sister in Christ, whom I was able to encourage and in so doing, was encouraged myself. I am grateful for fellowship with believers in Christ. What a joy to be able to encourage her, and in turn see that encouragement multiply as she encourages others (she is a wonderful encourager). Perhaps that's why I'm still awake at 11:30 pm...just thinking on life and friends and joy and pain and all that we suffer TOGETHER as a body. Yawn. Goodnight.

Still Humbled

2008-09-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

I was reading over one of my old blogs, titled Humbled. When I wrote it, I was so frustrated at my inability to share the Gospel with a Muslim friend of mine. She was listening, and I was speechless. I feel that I have learned something since then....namely that I am called to BE the Gospel, not just TELL it. Joel talks (see sermon on Jeremiah 29) about how we are the salt of the earth, and that during Bible times, salt was a preservative, that would work its way into the rotting meat in order to preserve it. I am to be that to her and to others. Salt, working my way into her life, in an effort to preserve her from the rot and decay that is hell. Yet I remain HUMBLED.

A Question for All Facebookers

2008-09-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

Is it rude to ignore a facebook friend request from someone you know only remotely? I mean, this is someone that you have to look at your mutual friends (if there are any) and zoom in on pictures to figure out who the heck this person is. Is it rude? Please comment quickly.

The Joys of Singleness

2008-09-21T10:21:00.001-07:00

Just thought I'd post a few images of the things that need fixin' around my house...

The lovely screen from my back porch that has been chewed (and eaten).

The cords from my air conditioner that have been chewed (and eaten).

The very cute culprit.

The grass that is screaming to be mowed. Yes, that is a weed. No, it is not a flower.

I am desperately girly and desperately clueless as to how to fix an air conditioner cord thingy (note use of the word "thingy) or repair a screened-in porch. This may seem simple to you guys out there, but not to me. What to do? (sigh, bat of eyes)

I miss them

2008-09-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Gabino, Adolfo, Marcelino, Mansur, Leoncio, Beken...I miss them. I spent ten days with them and it seems my heart will never stop thinking of them. A picture of fallen humanity and God's redemption in each child. What they've seen and heard is often too much for our minds and hearts to begin to understand. Yet all have been redeemed from the life they once knew, and most of them have been eternally redeemed. I miss them.

And then there is Rodrigo. Man, what a kid. The things that he has been through are things that your wildest imagination would not even dream up. Out of respect for him, I will not write them. It is his story, his life and I do not imagine he would want it posted on the internet. Yet his story of redemption is one that moves my heart. His healing has been slow, yet obvious. He is learning to live, to love, and to be loved. I don't know if his heart has been redeemed eternally, but I do know that his earthly story is one that speaks of what God does eternally. Pray for Rodrigo, that he would know the love of Christ, and that his heart would be healed from the things he has seen, heard and experienced.

Fall is here! Almost.

2008-09-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

Today I was basking in the slightly cooler weather when I noticed some of the leaves in my backyard have begun to turn to red. My first glimpse of the fall, my favorite season.

I'm lighting my new pumpkin candle now...

Quirky and Quirkier

2008-09-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm supposed to list 6 quirky things about myself, according to my dear friend Britney. I define quirky. This will be easy.

1. I count words on my fingers. And what makes it really quirky is this...since I count them on one hand, I have to have one finger count as two words so that when I make it back to my thumb, it is ten words instead of nine. I know what you're thinking...that's beyond quirky, it's OCD. I agree.

2. I can pretty much memorize a song after listening to it one time. Perhaps it's because I'm busy repeating/counting the words on my fingers, so by the end of the song, I almost have it memorized.

3. I leave half-empty coffee mugs everywhere. And I mean everywhere. As I write, there is one here at my desk, one in my bedroom, one in the bathroom and one on the back porch. I like for my house to be neat and get really in a wad if the floors are dirty, yet I have a science experiment growing in every room. Go figure.

4. I stick to my routine.

Nights: Put on comfy clothes, settle onto my green couch (with always the same arrangement of pillows under my legs--green, red, green), read my book until I fall asleep on the couch to retire to the bed. In fact, now my dog is a prisoner to this routine. I just have to put my feet on the floor and he is headed to the bedroom for bed.

Mornings: Wake at 5:30, make coffee, Dep goes outside, Dep gets fed, settle into the RED chair for my morning devotional (at approximately 5:50), begin getting dressed for school at exactly 6:30 and leave the house by 7:00.

The order doesn't change. Always the same. Every day.

5. I love documentaries. There's nothing like a good documentary. My favorite so far has been Beyond the Gates of Splendor, about the five American missionaries martyred by the Auca Indians of Ecuador. Far better than the movie. The one I want to see is Born Into Brothels, about the prostitution of young Indian girls. Let me know if you have it. I'd love to borrow.

6. I put baby powder in my hair almost daily. Very convenient. Dirty hair? Just apply baby power and it feels, well, sort of clean.

If you're reading this, you've probably been tagged into the "Quirky Game". Here are the rules...

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Mention the rules on your blog.

3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.

4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking to them.

5. Leave a comment for each tagged blogger to let them know they've been tagged.

So, tag, you're it!

1. The Family Bush

2. Stephanie Kling

3. Crystal Garcia

4. Jennifer Dean

5. Haley Nichols

5. And I just can't think of any more...(lazy bloggers like me just don't know other bloggers)

Love the Body, Part II

2008-05-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

Once again, my Scripture reading was centered around unity in the body. When Jesus is praying to the Lord before he is to be crucified, the main issue on his heart is unity and love among brothers and sisters in Christ. (John 17) Here are some of his words....

"Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one." (v. 11)

"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (v. 20, 21) Did you catch the so that? Why must we be one? So that the world may believe in Christ.

"The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one. I in them and you in me, so that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me." (v. 22, 23) Again, we see the REASON why we are to be one...so that the world will see.

"I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." (v. 26)

Lord, teach us to love one another, that the dying world may see your love manifested in us. Amen.

Love the Body

2008-05-26T07:40:00.001-07:00

I have been reflecting recently on the Church. What does/should it look like? How do we make disciples of all nations? True disciples.

Today in my one year Bible reading, I came across a verse that sums it up. "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35) It doesn't say that all people will know that we are disciples if we love unbelievers. It says they will know that we are disciples if we love each other.

I started reflecting on how often the Bible speaks of doing good to the body of believers. In some instances, it says to do good to all, but especially to believers. Why is this? Why would it not say to focus on doing good to the lost, to unbelievers? That would seem more right to me.

I think I am seeing the answer to this at Redeemer Community Church, where I am currently attending. I have found there an authentic group of people who are true disciples of Christ. People who are daily being refined and sanctified through God's Word and through community, yet are focused outward at a dying world. And I know that the more united we become, the more we love each other, the more others will desire to be a part of it. People will see and want to know what is different. I am NOT saying we are to close ourselves off to the world and just love each other. I am saying we are to love each other, to live and breathe in community in front of the world.

I pray that God would be glorified in us and through us as we seek to live out the Gospel in our daily lives. Lord, provide us opportunities to invite outsiders in to see it. That the love of Christ would be so prevalent in our lives and in our homes that people would be saved and made disciples through it. Lord, to you be the Glory!

More thoughts on the girl with really low pants...

2008-04-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Yet I think that I am worse off than she. The reason is that I am judging her. I am thinking, "Gosh, glad I'm not like her." And in that I am a Pharisee. Reminds me of the story where the Pharisee prays next to the tax collector and says, "Lord, thank you that I am not like him." And he went home that day in a much more dangerous state...because he thought he was justified. He thought he was ok.

Treasures in Jars of Clay

2008-04-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. --2 Corinthians 4:6-7

Just what is "this treasure" referring to? The treasure we have is the treasure of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. And it is housed in jars of clay, us. I am a jar of clay. No matter how great I think I am, compared to the surpassing worth of Christ, I am a clay jar. And on the other side, no matter how unworthy I think I am, I house the light of Christ. I pray that I will remember this when I am sharing with others the glory of God. Sometimes I think that I have to say the perfect thing, do the perfect thing, to "make" them believe. Yet I need to remember that I am only a vessel, and the treasure I have is not anything of my own. It is the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, evident in Jesus Christ. That's it. Period.

2008-04-19T05:36:00.001-07:00

I saw a girl the other day whose pants were so low and top so short it made me blush. In fact, I had a hard time talking with her because of it. I got to wondering if that's what the woman at the well was like. I know that cultural and social norms wouldn't have allowed her to dress like that, but is that the way others saw her? Is that the way the Pharisees would have seen her? I am such a Pharisee sometimes. I forget that sin is sin, and her sin is the same as mine. Mine's just forgiven.

Hope Transferred

2008-04-08T03:47:00.001-07:00

It seems like oftentimes lately my hopes go unfulfilled. I'm reflecting on a passage Tim preached on a few weeks ago. It is after Jesus' crucifixion and two of his disciples are headed out of Jerusalem. Jesus appears to them on the road. They don't recognize Him. As they are telling this "stranger" the story of Jesus' crucifixion, they say, "But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel." (Luke 24:21) Imagine their disappointment. Imagine their broken hopes. Yet God had something so much better. He had an ETERNAL king, rather than just an earthly one. He also had much suffering and tribulation ahead for them, which carries with it a reward far greater than earthly rule.

I struggle with wanting what I want and wanting it now. Yet God often has something so much better. And I don't mean that the thing I want is a lesser version of the thing I will get, if I will just wait. I mean that in the waiting, in the longing, I find a treasure worth far more than the thing I am wanting. I find Jesus. I find intimacy with the Lord. And my hope transfers to Him.

Yet I still struggle. Even after I have found this treasure. Even after I have had sweet intimacy with the Lord, I still long. I still want the earthly thing more than the heavenly thing. Such is the life of a sinner.

Poured Forth

2008-04-01T04:40:00.000-07:00

"Measure thy life by loss and not by gain; not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth, for love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice, and he that suffereth most hath most to give. " --Ugo Bassi

I long to be "poured forth". I feel that isn't happening right now because I am not pouring myself into some particular ministry. But I think I have realized that the pouring forth of oneself can consist of living your life in sacrifice to the Lord. That's the daily decisions, trials, sufferings, joys...all for the glory and joy of the Lord.

How can I be poured forth if I have nothing to pour? I must be daily filling myself up with the word of the living God in order to pour something. I think for many years I poured myself into my Hispanic ministry, yet it was a tipping of the cup with nothing spilling out. Because I didn't have anything to pour. My walk with the Lord consisted of ministry only. Now I am in this painful yet joyful refining process, where I am daily being sanctified, refined and filled up with the presence of God. When it comes time to involve myself more intensely, I hope to have more to give.

Chinese Guests

2008-03-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

So tonight I had some company...three precious Chinese visitors, along with two dear friends, Blake and Christen. We had such a great time. We ate pizza, talked about the Lord and played games. It was a precious time of fellowship. Two are involved in a church, while the other has just arrived in the United States.

At the end, Way picked up my guitar and the three of them sang a Chinese folk song. What a blessing!

Please pray for the spiritual growth of Wei, Yuan Yuan and her husband, Zhen Hai. We saw Yuan Yuan come to relationship with Christ in December of 2006, and now her friend, Wei. Her husband has just arrived in the United States this past Monday.

Profundity

2008-02-24T15:54:00.000-08:00

"Its basic words can be understood by the lowly, but in its recesses are mysteries lofty and veiled." --St. Augustine

Isn't it so true? The Word of God is full of layers, depth that is only revealed by the Holy Spirit. It seems that just as I have peeled back one layer, and stand back to marvel at the beauty of it, I find another. I find myself listening to the same chapter over and over--hearing something new each time. It isn't long before I am in awe at the beauty and depth of God's Word. I can truly echo the words of David in Psalm 119:18, when he said, "Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." And then again when he compares his own ways to God's, he says, "When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to your testimonies..." O Lord, let me not turn to my own wisdom, yet lean wholeheartedly on You.

How then shall we live?

2008-02-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

A blog is a thought, or stream of thought, written down. Right? That's what this is, and I can say I have no idea if it will make sense. I really don't know if I can put into words all that I am learning these days. It is a bombardment of convictions and revelations.

I don't know where to start. The lessons I'm learning are important ones. Life-changing ones. Some of my attitudes that I thought were Christ-like are not...maybe.

This morning's sermon was part of a series titled "UnChristian". We looked at the passage in John 4, where Jesus talks with the Samaritan woman at the well. She had had four "relationships" and was not married to the man she was currently living with. Jesus knew this, of course. He crossed cultural and social barriers to minister to her. She was a Samaritan, He was a Jew. She was a woman, He was a man. She was a sinner, He was the perfect Savior. He met her in her element, where SHE was.

I am learning the balance...loving the sinner, hating the sin. I am certain that Jesus did not condone her sin. Perhaps she felt completely inadequate in the face of the spotless Lamb. Yet he loved her. He showed his concern for her in many ways, but the one that struck me the most was that he was there, in Samaria. He was in the region that was considered the land of the "unclean" by the Jews. He could've gone around, like the other Jews would do, on his way to Galilee. Yet Jesus passed through that region.

So how does this look in my life? Well, I am afraid that I would have been one NOT to pass through Samaria. Perhaps it begins with recognizing that I AM THE WOMAN AT THE WELL. I am the sinner that He came to Samaria (Earth) to save.

Lately, it seems I only want to surround myself with godly influences. What would Christ do? He certainly surrounded himself much of the time with his disciples, yet he did not shy away from "sinners". He ATE with tax collectors and sinners. That means he fellowshiped, HUNG OUT with them.

This is where my thought-stream stops, because I don't know what this is supposed to look like in my life. I don't know how much to surround myself with those that are not in fellowship with the Lord, and how much to surround myself with those that are. I only know that Jesus has called me to LOVE all people. As for the rest, I just don't know.

theological journey

2008-02-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

I feel as if I am on a journey that continues to take me far from what I once believed, far from who I once was.

I used to believe that I could earn healing. I mean, I wouldn't use those words, but that's what I believed. I have chronic pain in my lower back. Been to every specialist you can think of. Tried every traditional and alternative method I could try. Tried every "prayer tactic" I could. No healing. I thought it was my fault. That i didn't have enough faith. Kept on "pressing in" and "claiming the healing that is mine in Christ". Still nothing.

Around this time last year, I realized that God had not promised me healing. His word says that He does heal, but it is always for His glory, not my own alleviation of pain or discomfort.

Who am I? Am I above my savior, who suffered tremendous pain in his own body? In Matthew, Jesus says, "A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master." (Matthew 10:24) Interesting thing is the pain has really lessened since I stopped "claiming" healing. Hmmm. I think there's something that happens when you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on God. It just doesn't hurt as much. (whatever "it" is) (DISCLAIMER: there is NOTHING good in me apart from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. So whatever "focusing" I did on God rather than myself was a gift from the Lord.)

I believe now that God sovereignly chose those who have been and will be saved. I didn't used to believe this. I mean, how could God do that? It isn't fair. I think our finite minds can't understand God, so we try to explain it away, but in so doing, we distort the truth and put him into a box. The passage that really turned me around was John 6:37-40. Jesus says that he came to do the will of His Father, and that he had not lost one that the Father had given Him. This was revolutionary for me. Because to say that God had given him EVERYONE, that would mean that he did/does lose many, which would mean that he didn't do the will of the Father. How could Christ, God made flesh, not fulfill the purpose/will of God?

Thankful tonight, for all God is to me now. He has always been these things, I just couldn't see it.

Humbled

2008-02-02T12:28:00.002-08:00

Today I was speechless. How do I adequately share Christ? How do you even begin to share the magnitude of who He is and what He did? It's a command to share your faith, to give a reason for the hope you have.

Now reading a pamphlet, "Sharing Christ with a Muslim". Did I share Christ with a Muslim today? Not sure. My heart yearned to tell her, to speak to her of the validity and reality of Christ on the cross. Yet I stumbled over my words. I found myself wishing I could speak Farsi...maybe then I would know what to say. I turned to my friend in the car and, out of frustration, asked her to take over the conversation. She wouldn't.

Afterward, I was struck by the reality of the truth of God's sovereignty. There is nothing I can say that will change her heart. The Holy Spirit must draw her. I can't. Such comfort. The burden is not on me. I am commanded to share, and am not responsible for what happens next. I can only pray that she heard and that God will use my words, however inadequate they may be.